7:54pm — It is done. I am now a married man. I publicly committed my devotion to Sara Schwarz yesterday. Everything was beautiful — absolutely perfect. Everyone looked great. Sara was gorgeous. The weather was nice, the church was beautiful, the reception hall was terrific, our photographer was fantastic.

On Wednesday, I went in to work only for a couple hours. My heart was SO not into it as my mind could only dwell on what lay ahead. Chad and Clinton arrived a day early in order to take me out to dinner. I was THRILLED to see them! they got a hotel, rented a car, and drove to the house. I had to make pre-arrangements for my cousin Jasmine and her boyfriend, David to get picked up from the airport because my mother mistakenly gave them the wrong date. So, I asked Dirk to pick them up for me while the three of us went out. We first went to Chino Latinos for dinner and then to this cool little lounge in Dinkytown called the Kitty Cat Klub. It was JUST ideal. It was so wonderful to those two! It’s just a crime that I don’t keep in touch with them more often. On Thursday, I hosted a barbecue for people who were arriving for the rehearsal.

1:54pm — Although we are no longer in Minnesota, indeed, it is actually very early in the morning somewhere over the East China Sea heading to Hong Kong.

Anyway, back to the [recounting]. The barbecue once taken over by Chad and Clinton, ended up to be a fairly big hit. The volleyball net and equipment that I borrowed from Randy [Schmidt from Evergreen] were put to good use. (Were it not for the otherwise boredom experienced by Jasmine and David in setting up the net, it would not have happened.)

David Jesmer arrived first and other gradually trickled in, like the Zahn’s and Rice’s. My family finally showed up around 3:30. We had only about an hour, but it worked out fairly well. (I hope.) At 4:30, all the men shipped out to try on and pick up the tuxedos. After which we made our way finally to the rehearsal. Of course, we didn’t get started until around 6:45. All of my German relatives were there, too. Brian Doten had everyone introduce themselves, after which we stepped through the ceremony. I was very impressed with how well organized . . . .

[Aside: sitting on the floor of the Hong Kong airport — don’t know the official name of it. I hear and see Chinese everywhere — next to the restroom, waiting for my semi-sickly wife to exit. As a precaution, I am guessing, against further outbreaks of SARS, I am next to a “temperature checkpoint.” An opportunity to explore Sara’s reaction presents itself here: — Well, no big deal.]

6:45am (Hong Kong, 8/2/2004)

The rehearsal and the dinner following were a lot of fun! I was a little choked up when we recited our vows. It just wasn’t something I was expecting to do. The dinner was at the Sheraton Hotel where most everyone was staying anyway. It was a very subdued setting, pleasant, delicious buffet. Clinton was in his element for sure. Sara and I handed out gifts to our wedding party and gave a brief explanation of who they were to each of us. They (the groomsmen and ushers) each received an engraved clock and alarm that is especially useful for travel. The groomsmen’s included a pen and pencil set. We hung out for quite some time. I took Sara back to the extended stay hotel (where she moved into last week). We chatted a bit and I spent my last night on the couch as a single man.

8:30am — Yesterday, I went to the Shane Company to pick up Sara’s wedding band that I had resized; the platinum one that goes along with her engagement ring. My plan is to surprise her with it at the alter when we exchange rings. She’s going to be shocked!

I then drove to take a look at the hotel we’ll be staying at that night. I can’t believe I found a jacuzzi suite so cheap! ($129) at a pretty decent hotel, too! [Doubletree in St. Louis Park]. — I think what I’ll do is have someone I trust drive me up there early that day and set up the room and I’ll leave my car there so we’ll have it available for the next day when we have to leave for Thailand.

I also met with Jack Borg, the friend of mine here who is a former JW. We went downtown to Brit’s Pub for dinner. He and his live-in girlfriend just broke up because he found out she’s been cheating and lying to him. We talked some about that, but when I noticed it was getting too difficult for him, I quickly changed the subject. I then asked him a lot about his current state of faith and what he believes now. He told me some things about being an elder and about the organization [talking about the Jehovah’s Witnesses here] as a whole that I didn’t know about. For instance, they were told from the top down on how to pray and what to say during their prayers — like when funds were low, they were told to make sure they mentioned that when they pray (instead of just from the heart).

It was a good time — as we talked, he came to realize that it never really would have worked out with him and Michelle. Their beliefs were just FAR too different. Plus, she didn’t sound too emotionally mature either.

8:30am — O God, this is heaven — sitting here outside on my new patio furniture — smooth jazz in the background in the gradually warming sun.

Two weeks from today, I will probably no longer be a virgin and Sara and I will be getting ready to go to Thailand.

I had my last day working for Ovations yesterday. Funny, it STILL hasn’t sunk in that it’s over. I am SO glad to be rid of ProCall — finally – my career was stagnating.

6:30Am — In 16 days, I will be a married man. Certainly I am a bit nervous about that. Sara was acting a little weird lastnight. She keeps telling me she’s got all this work left to do for the wedding and when I ask her about specifics, she seems to get upset. She also gets upset because I am doing other things. However, these “other things” are important too. I just get the impression that she’s under the impression that everything revolves around her needs and that the things I’m doing are not that important. I’ve been pouring my efforts into getting my house ready for all these people, most of whom are my friends and relatives, who will be here on the 29th. I don’t think she has ANY awareness of that sense of urgency or importance on my part. So, here are the things left to be accomplished that are important to me:

1. Finish staining the deck
2. Getting this picture framed
3. Getting glasses before the honeymoon
4. Working out
5. Cleaning the entire house
6. Trimming bushes and shrubs around the house
7. Bringing car in to get fixed
8. Finances — what money should [ ] for what?
9. Looking for a new renter that will get along with Tony and Forrest
10. Cleaning out the Fernando house
11. Doing as much as I can to help out with wedding stuff
12. Getting food and volleyball net from Randy Schmidt and other stuff

7:30am — Thursday did not end very well. I KNEW I would regret grabbing a couple beers at Tuesday’s. Of course, I WAS only there until 10. — Sara and I then got into a another fight. We sinned against each other. “God, I repent of my error; I fall helpless into your arms. I am author, executor, and victim of my sin. In this calm, sober moment, I desperately crave the longings I once had for You. PLEASE forgive this wretched sinner. Tonight I will not drink at all. I will make out passionately with Sara. God, ONLY with your help!”