Wednesday, August 25, 2004

11:27pm — “Sara, we are very high achievers. Most people are not in the same realm that we are “better” than anyone, we have just both been very wise about the decisions we have made. Sara, I think of you as an extremely intelligent person. You have a business savvy that puts me to shame. I know that having kids and a family is important to you; and it is to me too. But, I think you’ve been given some unique gifts and talents that separate you from most other women — including all of the women in your family. I don’t think, therefore, it would be a good idea for you to jeopardize your career.”

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

11:27pm — I’ve been a little frustrated that this new team I’m on, everyone involved seems more concerned about “jumping to the solution” rather than taking a step back, analyzing the problems and determining a high-level solution.

I was told by a B.A. on the COE team to assert myself — to try and ENFORCE these processes — but, my fear is that my efforts won’t be appreciated and that they’ll actually be viewed as a hindrance to our performance and ultimate success. I guess if I just assume that this is how it’s going to be, and continue to operate under those assumptions, I’ll probably be ok. But, what about the fact that I AM constantly dealing with resistance? My team leader, this lady, Gaylee (La Grange), I think is totally out of her league. I KNOW she’s intimidated by me. And, she HAS given me a lot of clearance as far as doing the things that I think should be done (as far as defining process is concerned). But, she has NO CLUE about some things. I had an inkling yesterday that she might be picking up. But, today, in a meeting with the founder of the entire project, I balked at her when she made what seemed to me to be an outrageous comment. When one of the business representatives gave us a “generous” end date (January 5), internally I sighed in relief, but Gaylee jumped in, and in typical, amateurness, even unprofessional manner said, “Oh, I’m sure we would have it done MUCH sooner than that.” So, I reacted out of my disbelief and said, “What?! Who’s side are you on? This hasn’t even been scoped out yet?” On the surface, ALL projects sound like “no big deal”. “We can whip that up in no time.”

The key here is going to be how I can make my efforts and commitment be viewed as DIRECT success factors. In other words, my contributions were critical components to this project’s success. Somehow, I’ll also need to make that visible to Kirk.

Perhaps, I can dispel a lot of cynicism by outright admitting my tendency to lean towards the ideal. In a joking manner, “confess” my “sin” and let it be known that I welcome correction when I go too far. And yet, in reality, it IS my belief that I DO deserve more recognition.