10:35pm — Today sucked; for the most part. Number one, I’ve been sick — a bit. so, that’s how I woke up, a bit feverish and with a sore throat.

Then, I got into a vicious argument with Sara that left me storming out of the apartment. I was so pissed at her. It was all because I had left a couple bill run late. — She started getting all mad at me and everything. Of course that only served to FURTHER piss me off because it demonstrates a lack of faith and confidence in me. I guess, you say that that was the theme of the day.

Today at work, I had to do a formal walk-through of a project scope document that I had written (that has taken me about a week now). Well anyway, my manager, Gaylee totally flipped out after having gone through the rough draft copy that I gave her this morning. Instead of encouraging me, she would only point out what was wrong and even told me how disappointed in me she was. At 11:30 she comes to me [ ] she’s [ ]at me, with this printout I gave her, totally marked up and she was almost paranoid. She told me she was disappointed and that she thought I’d be further along. Within 40 minutes, I had corrected all of the error she observed.

Anyway, I took care of everything. She totally, totally insulted . I now WITHOUT A DOUBT that I worked EXTREMELY hard — and all she could do was shoot me down. Anyway, I met with all the people needed to meet with. I secured all the requireables[??] and all she could do was be a total bitch about it. The walk-through itself was a great success. I got complimented by John, both Patrick and Kirk (Stapleton) and even Lydia — who pretty much showed for nothing because Gaylee told her she was worried. — The walk-through went great. She said NOTHING to me. One of the comments she made to me [today?] [were?] , to be honest, I’m really disappointed. What were you doing all day yesterday? I thought you’d be much further along.” She also said, “This isn’t just a reflection on you, it’s a reflection on me.” When she didn’t have time to look at my final draft, she said, “Well, this is going to be reflection on YOU not me.” — And all I could say to her was, “Gaylee, I’m not worried.”

The feeling I got from her was [ ] But, she treats me like a worthless piece of crap in the process.

I think I need to talk to Trent about this. I feel like ranting and raving about it, but I think handling in a more professional manner is more appropriate. I’m going to tell Trent that, though, but I’ll be sure to do it tactfully. I also think he’s too apologetic. It doesn’t do him any good. If someone is too bossy, then he needs to delegate and not feel sorry. I don’t think a “once-in-a-while” appearance by Trent [Schaeffer?] is bad. He’s coming across as flaky. If Gaylee is your [ ], then empower her to be so. Let all of us know this, she is YOUR representative. But, you know, that’s hard to do when she is bad-mouthing you and Ingenix. I’m sick of hearing the negative talk about Ingenix.

Conway, and Gaylee all hate Ingenix, which it’s so apparent, but that does [ ] little to boost morale. I believe in this company and I am committed to doing my part to make it the best company in the world.

I believe in what Ingenix stand for. But, as with anything, I understand there are imperfections.

1:16 (am Tuesday) — Less than 2 months to go and we will be in our new house. Last night, I went out with Forrest to this place called, “The Escape” — One of my favorite techno artists, Paul van Dyk, was playing there. It really, really was cool. We were actually there with a new potential renter who ended up throwing up in the bathroom and getting kicked out of the place. Forrest and I couldn’t find him anywhere. It was SUCH a blast! I SO don’t feel as old as I am.

We went camping this past weekend with Mike and Jen. For some reason, I feel a bit inferior to Mike — mainly because we don’t have a lot in common and he doesn’t seem that interested in the things that I’M interested in. (I mean “hobbies”, extra-vocational things like theology, history, philosophy, etc. — Well, such things, I guess only display insecurity on my part.

Right now, I suppose my priorities can be summed up as “Work, school, townhouse, renters — then myself and then Sara and God, of course . . . .” (not necessarily in that order, of course!)

12:50am – Sara and I got into a pretty big fight this morning. — In retrospect, I’m realizing that I’m still angry. She said, “You Know I’m amazed at how clueless guys are about raising kids.” This is what started it. I took that as an insult and she said she didn’t mean it that way but was only making an observation about how men and women are different. I didn’t buy it. I’m interpreting that as an act of disrespect. Which, I believe it is.