7:00am — I have taken the week off in order to relax and get caught up on some things. My parents were here over the weekend. (Thursday through Monday morning) to do Christmas with us. Our main objective was to make sure they felt comfortable here — and I think they really did. We spent Christmas Eve here and then Christmas day at the Schwarz house.
Today is Sue’s birthday, too. She’s 35. It’s also almost New Year’s, and I’ve got some serious resolutions to make.
11:04pm — I love people. I love making them happy; even if that means stepping aside and letting them enjoy it. I made a lot of people happier today than they probably would have been otherwise, for instance. It was MY idea to go to Sunday School today, which made Sara happy. It was MY idea to go to lunch with Tim and Jen and Kristi and Eddie. I smiled internally (almost pridefully) as we all laughed together.
Last night another group of people are happier than they would have been otherwise; Mike and Jen and Kim and Casey. We all went to see the Nutcracker last night and went to dinner beforehand. I think for the most part, we all had a blast! I know, especially, the women enjoyed it. Mike kinda let me down, though by not really giving me an indication that he was glad we did it. He made a comment about how it doesn’t beat fishing — but, perhaps, I’ve made similar comments about hunting and fishing — I’m probably being overly sensitive. Nevertheless, I am a little hurt.
I am so glad I did this tonight. We’ve been entertaining people so much lately. I just started feeling so lost — like my own identity was lost.
Many people don’t understand (including my wife) why I choose to remain friends with Jon. Todd Fierst questioned me on it the other day — but, I think it’s because I know what he’s been through — he’s trusted me with so much — and vice versa. I could never turn my back on him. His father rejected him — outright — and he’s more to me than just a drinking buddy or someone that I have ulterior motives. The fact is Jonathan Almquist is real human being; who has been damaged, yes, but who also means no one any harm.
I also love my wife. I am totally devoted to her — even though I notice “faults” and secretly despise them. Nevertheless, she is a wonderful woman (no PERSON!) My first responsibility is to HER FIRST.
But, Lord, I am SUCH a failure in this area. I can only ask for Your grace. PLEASE PLEASE work through me despite my brokenness — and heal me. I pray that she might have some internal strength that is beyond ME.
8:35am — This has been an interesting and pretty good week. We had a variety of guests checking out our new place. I had lunch with Brian Doten on Tuesday; Jeff Berger on Wednesday.
Todd Fierst came over on Wednesday night (with his dog). We watched the wedding video, saw the pictures, and then he and I went out for a few drinks to discuss religion. I was a bit surprised to learn that he is fairly lonely. I don’t care too much to go with him, though. He looks as though he gets easily distracted. I did get a chance to point blank share the gospel with him — since he asked what I believed.
I think I definitely need to follow up with him.
This guy I just met from Wooddale, Jeff Berger is really a great guy. I found out, too, that we’re neighbors! He lives right here in Hartford Commons. We’re doing some planning for a Defender’s type ministry.
I’m really learning the key to success in anything (virtually) is planning. If enough time hasn’t been devoted to planning something out, the risk of failure is much greater.
Another key is determination — the ability to set your mind to something and visualize your successful creation of it. I told myself yesterday, that I wasn’t going to drink too much last night; and while I did drink more than anyone else, and was tempted beyond belief, I managed to exercise self-control.
8:25am — What can I do to love my wife today? I kind of let things go south a little bit last night.
Before Sara and I went out to P.F. Changs, Patrick Thielen, the I’m working for, took me and another guy out for some beer. Man did we have an inspiring conversation — and enlightening, too.
I mentioned that all I wanted to do was to make a difference WHEREVER I’m at no matter what I’m doing. He encouraged me to PRAY for the people I work with and for especially those that I have a hard time with.