Monthly Archives: November 2010

Response to Matt Fenn’s, “Predestination and Voluntary Choice”

by

2

The following is a response/rebuttal to my new good friend, Matt Fenn who is a former Jehovah’s Witness like myself.  He considers himself a Calvinist and has a blog much like mine.  His latest post, “Predestination and Voluntary Choice” was written on 11/20/2010.    Matt’s blog can be found at:   http://ponderingchrist.blogspot.com/

FROM all eternity God decreed all that should happen in time, and this He did freely and unalterably, consulting only His own wise and holy will.  Yet in so doing He does not become in any sense the author of sin, nor does He share responsibility for sin with sinners.  Neither, by reason of His decree, is the will of any creature whom He has made violated;

If all that happens, past, present, and future is DECREED by God, (in other words, DETERMINED by God such that God CREATED (or “AUTHORED”, (or, as Wayne Grudem describes it, has been “scripted” by God),  the irresistible desires within the agent such that no other choice is possible, then it’s obvious that GOD is the SOURCE/AUTHOR of that individual’s choice, whether it’s considered “sinful” or not. So, in what sense is God not the Ultimate source of Hitler’s choices or Osama bin Laden’s?

If one were to follow Calvinism out to its logical conclusion, then the apparent difference between “Good” and “Evil” is merely an  illusion, the same as what the Eastern Religions teach.  If God has decreed (i.e. “scripted” everything that happens,) then the biblical notion that God is incapable of even looking upon sin, much less being responsible for it, is laughable.

nor is the free working of second causes (Please define: “second causes”) put aside; rather is it established.  In all these matters the divine wisdom appears, as also does God’s power and faithfulness in effecting that which He has purposed. (1689 London Baptist Confession, 3.1)

Thus says the confession to which I and my church hold.  What this is saying is that God ordains (Please define: “ordains”) future events in such a way that our freedom (Please define “Freedom.”  If you’re going to say, “the ability to do what you WANT,” then I would ask, “What is the ULTIMATE source of the want?”  If your response to that is, “God”, then you, and all deterministic theists are inconsistent and wrong.  We are NOT free, and it is GOD who is ultimately cause of our choices, even the sinful ones.) and the working of secondary causes (e.g., laws of nature, free choice) are preserved. Theologians call this “concurrence.” (Please provide a reference here.  What theologian and what is the reference?) God’s sovereign will flows  (“flows”?  Who talks like that??”) concurrently with our free choices in such a way that our free choices always result in the carrying out of God’s will (by ‘free choices’ I mean that our choices are not coerced by outside influences).  (Romans 8:28; How would an Arminian disagree with this?)

I thought that it would be good to illustrate my view by way of example, and not just talking about it in theory.

Consider for a moment the Crucifixion of our Lord.

Notice how the Apostles talk about this event in their prayer to God:

Indeed Herod and Pontius Pilate met together with the Gentiles and the people of Israel in this city to conspire against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed. They did what your power and will had decided beforehand should happen. (Acts 4:27-28 NIV) (Again, how would an Arminian disagree with this?)

And again in the Pentecost Sermon:

This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross. (Acts 2:23 NIV)  (Again, how would an Arminian disagree with this?)

Jesus is described as “the Lamb who was slain from the creation of the world.” (Revelation 13:8 NIV)  (Again, how would an Arminian disagree with this?)

So with that in mind consider this:

Now it was the day of Preparation, and the next day was to be a special Sabbath. Because the Jewish leaders did not want the bodies left on the crosses during the Sabbath, they asked Pilate to have the legs broken and the bodies taken down. The soldiers therefore came and broke the legs of the first man who had been crucified with Jesus, and then those of the other. But when they came to Jesus and found that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water. The man who saw it has given testimony, and his testimony is true. He knows that he tells the truth, and he testifies so that you also may believe. These things happened so that the scripture would be fulfilled: “Not one of his bones will be broken,” and, as another scripture says, “They will look on the one they have pierced.” (John 19:31-37 NIV)

The question then is raised:

Were the soldiers acting upon their voluntary decision? Was it their own “free will” choice to not break Jesus legs? Yes to both. It was their free, non-compulsory choice to not break Jesus bones. They were not forced to do it. It was a decision that they made freely to not break his bones.  (AMEN, BROTHER!)

At the exact same time, in Exodus 12:46; Numbers 9:12; Psalm 34:20 God foretold that not one of Jesus bones would be broken. Indeed, as it says in Acts, Jesus legs not being broken was “by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge”. Indeed this was something that God’s “will had decided beforehand should happen.” While the soldiers did not break his bones because of their own free choice, while they were not forced or compelled to do so save by their own desires, they were at the same time, fulfilling God’s prearranged plan.

Put simply, it was God’s prearranged plan that not one of his bones would be broken. God also planned the free choice actions of the soldiers involved. At the same time the soldiers acted freely, because of their own choice, and not because they were forced from without or under any compulsion. Both ideas are equally true and we should not sacrifice one for the other but hold onto both. (Again, how would an Arminian disagree with this?)

This is more then just God “foreseeing” the future.   The phrases that say that this event took place “by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge” and that God’s “will had decided beforehand should happen” clearly preclude any mere and abstract (Please define: “abstract”) foreknowledge and foretelling of the future.  What is in view here is clearly the predetermined plan of God coming to pass. “I foretold the former things long ago, my mouth announced them and I made them known; then suddenly I acted, and they came to pass” (Isaiah 48:3 NIV)  Prophecy isn’t just God’s ability to tell what’s going to happen, but it is God foretelling what he has planned to happen, and what he is going to do in history.

So to the question at hand:

Does God predestine everything or is man free? My answer is, “YES”.  (Again, “AMEN!”)

If you ask me how that can be I will respond:

“The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever.” (Deuteronomy 29:29 NIV)

(You and I discussed this.  This verse is NOT an endorsement of your belief that God has two separate wills, one that is revealed, and another that is not only hidden, but also in CONTRADICTION to His “revealed” will!  This verse has NOTHING to do with God’s will at all.  It’s speaking to His knowledge and entire nature.)

Luda Balun

by

0

  • Luda Balun – It’s been difficult for me to believe that my relatively new friend, Luda, is not an angel!  I’m convinced that God put her in my life to provide a bridge from a very dark period of my life to see a new bright horizon!  She has been relentless in her devotion to helping out those around her who are in need.  I haven’t known Luda for very long, but we have somewhat of a kindred spirit and are becoming fast friends.  She and her husband came here from Ukraine many years ago and started up their own cleaning business.  We met through another mutual friend, and she has been such an inspiration to me.  Whenever I have been in need whether financially, or for transportation she has been there to help out in ways that would make most other people’s jaw drop!  She has also so unselfishly devoted her time and hard work toward helping me get my old house cleared and cleaned out; even going over there behind my back and virtually leaving me with nothing left to do!  She has also been picking me up and bringing me to church on Sundays.  Mere words simply cannot express my gratitude for all that Luda has already done for me.”Thank you, Luda for being the person that you are!  I can really sense God’s love pouring out of you and I know He has a very special place in heaven reserved just for you!  God bless you, my friend!”
  • Jean Eason – I’m not even sure Jean and I have ever even met, but it was at some time this past September that Jean appeared as suggested friend on Facebook.  I knew who she was because she is a relatively well-known former Jehovah’s Witness who has appeared on several counter-cult programs.  In any event, due to the friend request we began dialogging and the topic of the upcoming Witnesses Now for Jesus convention held every October in New Ringgold, Pennsylvania came up.  Although the timing wasn’t the best (seeing as I was in the middle of moving out of my foreclosing house!), she took it upon herself to lead an effort to provide the means for me to travel to the convention and took care of making all of the arrangements for me while I was there.  It cost several hundreds of dollars (which, I know was shared amongst several others as well who have mostly remained anonymous to me!)I gave my testimony at this same convention back in 1993 (which I have included here as a separate page on my web log). It had been seven years since I had last attended.  That was the year I brought my then girlfriend who would then become my fiance two days later.  Those seven years were probably the worst of my life.  This years’ convention proved to be especially pivotal in my spiritual journey.  God finally removed the scales from my eyes and I found myself, for the first time in such a LOOOONG time, to just let go of an ugly, foul sack of guilt, shame, anger, bitterness, and even hatred that I had been ingesting chewing upon like a cow does its cud every day.  In its place, I was able to embrace God’s grace and forgiveness and gave me the ability to forgive those who have wronged me.  I realized those intense feelings of being “wronged” were not ever going to help me achieve my final goal, which is to have as close of a relationship with my son, Austin, as possible.

    I was also able to reunite with some great old friends that I hadn’t seen in such a long time and also made some more eternal friends.

    “Thank you, Jean and those whom you were able to rally together on my behalf.  You have no idea how your generous gift to me not only blessed me, but it also revived my love and passion for the Church, the Bride of Christ, whom I had become disenchanted with for far too long!

 

Tom Illg

by

0

Tom Illg – I simply cannot say enough good things about my dear friend, Tom.  We first met in 2000 when the company I first worked for here in Minnesota was bought out by a larger consulting firm, Compuware.  As very committed conservatives who were strongly against people who believe killing unborn babies should be legal, we became fast friends.  It is to TOM’S credit that we have remained friends despite our separation from working together.  Tom has been SUCH a faithful, giving, and generous friend.He was there for me when I needed to discuss the pain I was going through because of the divorce and the totally unfair custody battle that resulted in my very young son from being deprived from having a  good relationship with his father.  He also paid for an old T-Mobile cell phone bill that I owed while I was in the hospital, and, since I’ve moved back to Minnesota, Tom has been a priceless friend in terms of helping me drive to the place where I go to see Austin, and most recently, helping me move from my old place to the new one.

“Thanks Tom!  You have been SUCH an inspiration to me.  The genuine love you have for your family that so much more exceeds you own career aspirations is so commendable!  In fact, it has been very convicting because I used to be so career-driven, myself but just refused to admit it.  You are ALWAYS there for your wife and your kids, who will NEVER EVER doubt your love for them.  Tom, whether or not you ever climb to the highest rung of the corporate ladder that you have the capability to do, I regard you as the true definition of success.  You HAVE achieved the American dream, because you have put your wife and children first above yourself.  God bless you, Tom!”

 

Kristin Benda

by

0

Kristin Benda – Kristin, who VERY successfully ran a charity benefit for me in January of 2009 here in Minnesota when I was in Illinois and since I’ve moved back here, she has still remained a good friend and has helped me out whenever she can.  “Thanks, Kristin!”

Dinah Urban

by

0

Dinah Urban – As strange as this might sound, Dinah is my real estate agent!  Not only is she the best Realtor in the world, she’s been such a good friend to me, too!  When I was still in Illinois recuperating, I found out that my tenants in my house in Burnsville had moved out.  The house was left abandoned and unattended.  I didn’t know who else to call but Dinah.  I looked her up on the internet and sent her an email.  Even though it had been ten years since I bought the house from her, she still remembered me!  We talked on the phone and I explained my situation.  I hadn’t seen the Burnsville house in two years and I asked her to go over to the house to check on it, which she did.  When I moved back to Minnesota, Dinah was often there to give me rides to places that I needed to go, even once picking me up from downtown Minneapolis during a violent thunderstorm to go back to Burnsville.Dinah worked very hard with me to explore the different options I had regarding the house, including doing a short sale.  That was the route I had prematurely decided on last year.  Dinah put so much effort into doing the short sale, but then when it became apparent that it was highly improbable that the bank, CitiMortgage would accept it, we realized it was all for naught.  I then decided to let the house go and asked Dinah to help me find another rent-to-own property.  She put some work into that too, but it didn’t take long to realize that that was going to be impractical since I still had so much on my plate to take care of, the last thing I needed was the burden of taking care of a house!

Austin Berg

by

0

Austin Berg – Austin is my very reason for living, now.  Except for fulfilling God’s will for my life, Austin is and will always be my top priority.  Even though he is only 4 years old right now, he has no idea how much joy he brings to me.  He is such a joy to be with, so happy, so easy to please, and hearing him laugh makes EVERYTHING I’ve been through worth it.  It is my number one mission in life to always be there for him.  No matter what, he will always know that his daddy, although not perfect by any means, loved him more than anything!”Thank you, Austin, my son!  You have already made me SOOOO proud!  I love you more than you will ever know, and nothing thrills me more than watching you grow up.  Please know that your Daddy wishes he could be with you every single day.”

My Latest Heroes!

by

0

I know that I have yet to write tributes to all the people who have sacrificed SOOOOO much for me prior to this year, (which I totally intend to do), I figure that I need to start somewhere.  So, I thought that I start by giving honorable mention to those who have been there for me since I’ve moved back to Minnesota.  These are all people who have demonstrated sacrificial love and concern for me without expecting anything in return.

(These are not in any specific order.)

  • Austin Berg – Austin is my very reason for living, now.  Except for fulfilling God’s will for my life, Austin is and will always be my top priority.  Even though he is only 4 years old right now, he has no idea how much joy he brings to me.  He is such a joy to be with, so happy, so easy to please, and hearing him laugh makes EVERYTHING I’ve been through worth it.  It is my number one mission in life to always be there for him.  No matter what, he will always know that his daddy, although not perfect by any means, loved him more than anything!”Thank you, Austin, my son!  You have already made me SOOOO proud!  I love you more than you will ever know, and nothing thrills me more than watching you grow up.  Please know that your Daddy wishes he could be with you every single day.”
  • Dinah Urban – As strange as this might sound, Dinah is my real estate agent!  Not only is she the best Realtor in the world, she’s been such a good friend to me, too!  When I was still in Illinois recuperating, I found out that my tenants in my house in Burnsville had moved out.  The house was left abandoned and unattended.  I didn’t know who else to call but Dinah.  I looked her up on the internet and sent her an email.  Even though it had been ten years since I bought the house from her, she still remembered me!  We talked on the phone and I explained my situation.  I hadn’t seen the Burnsville house in two years and I asked her to go over to the house to check on it, which she did.  When I moved back to Minnesota, Dinah was often there to give me rides to places that I needed to go, even once picking me up from downtown Minneapolis during a violent thunderstorm to go back to Burnsville.Dinah worked very hard with me to explore the different options I had regarding the house, including doing a short sale.  That was the route I had prematurely decided on last year.  Dinah put so much effort into doing the short sale, but then when it became apparent that it was highly improbable that the bank, CitiMortgage would accept it, we realized it was all for naught.  I then decided to let the house go and asked Dinah to help me find another rent-to-own property.  She put some work into that too, but it didn’t take long to realize that that was going to be impractical since I still had so much on my plate to take care of, the last thing I needed was the burden of taking care of a house!

    “Thank you, Dinah!  You have been waaaaay too nice to me.  I just don’t think there’s any way I could ever pay you back!  I really, really wish that I was in a much better position to show you my appreciation.  You are, hands down, the hardest-working, most knowledgeable, most dedicated real estate agent I’ve ever known, and for as long as I live, I will ALWAYS refer people to you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!”

  • Kristin Benda – Kristin, who VERY successfully ran a charity benefit for me in January of 2009 here in Minnesota when I was in Illinois and since I’ve moved back here, she has still remained a good friend and has helped me out whenever she can.  “Thanks, Kristin!”
  • Tom Illg – I simply cannot say enough good things about my dear friend, Tom.  We first met in 2000 when the company I first worked for here in Minnesota was bought out by a larger consulting firm, Compuware.  As very committed conservatives who were strongly against people who believe killing unborn babies should be legal, we became fast friends.  It is to TOM’S credit that we have remained friends despite our separation from working together.  Tom has been SUCH a faithful, giving, and generous friend.He was there for me when I needed to discuss the pain I was going through because of the divorce and the totally unfair custody battle that resulted in my very young son from being deprived from having a  good relationship with his father.  He also paid for an old T-Mobile cell phone bill that I owed while I was in the hospital, and, since I’ve moved back to Minnesota, Tom has been a priceless friend in terms of helping me drive to the place where I go to see Austin, and most recently, helping me move from my old place to the new one.

    “Thanks Tom!  You have been SUCH an inspiration to me.  The genuine love you have for your family that so much more exceeds you own career aspirations is so commendable!  In fact, it has been very convicting because I used to be so career-driven, myself but just refused to admit it.  You are ALWAYS there for your wife and your kids, who will NEVER EVER doubt your love for them.  Tom, whether or not you ever climb to the highest rung of the corporate ladder that you have the capability to do, I regard you as the true definition of success.  You HAVE achieved the American dream, because you have put your wife and children first above yourself.  God bless you, Tom!”

  • Luda Balun – It’s been difficult for me to believe that my relatively new friend, Luda, is not an angel!  I’m convinced that God put her in my life to provide a bridge from a very dark period of my life to see a new bright horizon!  She has been relentless in her devotion to helping out those around her who are in need.  I haven’t known Luda for very long, but we have somewhat of a kindred spirit and are becoming fast friends.  She and her husband came here from Ukraine many years ago and started up their own cleaning business.  We met through another mutual friend, and she has been such an inspiration to me.  Whenever I have been in need whether financially, or for transportation she has been there to help out in ways that would make most other people’s jaw drop!  She has also so unselfishly devoted her time and hard work toward helping me get my old house cleared and cleaned out; even going over there behind my back and virtually leaving me with nothing left to do!  She has also been picking me up and bringing me to church on Sundays.  Mere words simply cannot express my gratitude for all that Luda has already done for me.”Thank you, Luda for being the person that you are!  I can really sense God’s love pouring out of you and I know He has a very special place in heaven reserved just for you!  God bless you, my friend!”
  • Jean Eason – I’m not even sure Jean and I have ever even met, but it was at some time this past September that Jean appeared as suggested friend on Facebook.  I knew who she was because she is a relatively well-known former Jehovah’s Witness who has appeared on several counter-cult programs.  In any event, due to the friend request we began dialogging and the topic of the upcoming Witnesses Now for Jesus convention held every October in New Ringgold, Pennsylvania came up.  Although the timing wasn’t the best (seeing as I was in the middle of moving out of my foreclosing house!), she took it upon herself to lead an effort to provide the means for me to travel to the convention and took care of making all of the arrangements for me while I was there.  It cost several hundreds of dollars (which, I know was shared amongst several others as well who have mostly remained anonymous to me!)

    I gave my testimony at this same convention back in 1993 (which I have included here as a separate page on my web log). It had been seven years since I had last attended.  That was the year I brought my then girlfriend who would then become my fiance two days later.  Those seven years were probably the worst of my life.  This years’ convention proved to be especially pivotal in my spiritual journey.  God finally removed the scales from my eyes and I found myself, for the first time in such a LOOOONG time, to just let go of an ugly, foul sack of guilt, shame, anger, bitterness, and even hatred that I had been ingesting chewing upon like a cow does its cud every day.  In its place, I was able to embrace God’s grace and forgiveness and gave me the ability to forgive those who have wronged me.  I realized those intense feelings of being “wronged” were not ever going to help me achieve my final goal, which is to have as close of a relationship with my son, Austin, as possible.

    I was also able to reunite with some great old friends that I hadn’t seen in such a long time and also made some more eternal friends.

    “Thank you, Jean and those whom you were able to rally together on my behalf.  You have no idea how your generous gift to me not only blessed me, but it also revived my love and passion for the Church, the Bride of Christ, whom I had become disenchanted with for far too long!”

  • Bill and Laura Althaus
  • Erik and Stacy Carney

Saturday, November 6, 2010

by

0

Saturday, November 06, 2010   5:05pm

I had a really awesome time with Austin today.  I arrived at Perspectives only a couple minutes late, 2:47.  They didn’t count me as late at all.  I took their breath-a-lyzer thing and it went through just fine.

It was a couple minutes after 3:00 before I saw Austin eagerly, unabashedly opening the door himself  and feeling totally comfortable with me.  He is usually pretty shy, quiet, and reserved before saying anything, but today was very different!  I didn’t have to coax him to talk at all by asking any questions.  Instead, he spontaneously offered to tell me on his own, “I’m hungry and thirsty.”  I remember feeling both thrilled and concerned at the same time!  Thrilled, because this was the first time that my son felt comfortable and trustworthy enough to share something totally unsolicited with me so soon into our time together.  My concern, however, was due to the fact that we were going to spending the next two hours together, and I didn’t bring anything with me for him to eat!  I wasn’t sure what to do.  I told the little guy that I could get him some water, which I did right away.  When I walked back to the room, one of the staff people, Kimberly, was there asking Austin whether he was hungry or not.  He nodded yes, and she was eventually able to scrounge up some breadsticks, crackers, and a Granola bar.  The first thing he grabbed were the little breadsticks, which surprised us because he usually goes for sweeter things.  Well, he ended up eating only half of one breadstick before handing me the rest of it, and then reaching for the chocolate chip Granola bar, which he was able to devour with no problem at all!  Once he was finally done with it, (all activities were put on hold until he finished eating his Granola bar!).  But, once he was finished, his hands were covered in melted chocolate.  I insisted that we go to the bathroom to wash his hands.  On the way, I had to tell him, “Don’t touch anything!!”  He tried to open the bathroom door himself, but I did it for him instead.  He went right up to the sink, reached over to get some soap, turned on the faucet, and just held his little hands under the running water.  I had to encourage him to rub his hands together in order to get all of the chocolate off.  Once the hands were clean, it was back to our room.

I had brought along with me a DVD called Cars, but we didn’t really pay much attention to it because we were both so intrigued with this little automated fishing game.  He was actually much better at it than I was!  He is really very competitive, too.  I’m sure he probably gets that from his mother.  He kept trying to cheat even though he didn’t have to.  We played several games and I was keeping score.  I used the opportunity to teach him here and there how to add by using my fingers.  When I had to add a 3 and a 4, for instance, I held up four fingers on one hand, and three on the other and then I moved my hands together and told him, “Now all you have to do is count the fingers,” which he dutifully did, tapping each one of my fingertips with his own while counting out loud.  When he got to seven, I smiled real big and then he smiled real big!  (Obviously this only worked when both numbers were less than five!)  There were a couple cute catch phrases I used that he liked repeating.  The little fishies in this fake revolving pond would open their mouths and you had to try and get your little hook in its mouth before it closes again.  Since Austin grabbed the only little pole that worked, I had to make a makeshift one out of string I found.  It worked all right but not as easily as his did.  I would frequently say, “Come on, you little bugger!”, trying to coax the fake fish to bite down hard enough for me to be able to pull it out of the revolving pond.  (Yes, I did just say that, a revolving pond!)

I had a new person supervising this time.  Her name was Janice.  She was a fairly attractive blonde lady who was also very nice and was a little bit more involved with us than our last one.

A few minutes after 4:00, Jeffrey Postuma came into our room in order to steal our TV and DVD player!  Jeffrey is the director of Parenting Time programs at Perspectives.  He’s a really nice guy who has been so helpful with me.  Austin and I played a couple more fishing games and then we decided we wanted to go outside.  He had arrived in almost full skiing gear, complete with a winter coat, a hat, and gloves.  It was in the mid-50’s outside.  Nevertheless, we got him all geared up, grabbed a couple bats and balls out of the cabinet, and headed outside.  We instantly started playing baseball.  He tried several times to hit the ball with his very wide and lightweight bat.  Every time he swung and missed, I would encourage him and say, “OHHH!  What a good job!  You almost got it!”  One time, he actually DID hit the ball, and I jumped for joy and clapped for him!

Soon after this, he started squirming a bit as if he had to go to the bathroom.  I instantly asked him if he needed to go potty, and he said yes.  I rushed him over to the front door, and told him to go straight up the stairs where I knew there was a bathroom.  I raced up the stairs ahead of him, (Janice was right by Austin’s side), in order to clean off the toilet seat with soap and water.  (I’ve noticed that Austin doesn’t often notice the need to use a covering over the seat or to clean it before sitting down in public restrooms.)  Since he was all dressed up in winter clothing, I helped him out of it as quickly as we could.  The toilet was built more for adults than little kids, so I asked him a couple times if he needed help getting up onto it. He insisted no, so I let him take care of himself.  My little boy knew exactly what to do and I just let him do it, including getting himself dressed again, flushing the toilet, and washing and drying his hands.

We had about 20 minutes left, so we got dressed back up again, and headed outside to play with the bats and balls. I was impressed to find out that Austin knew about several kinds of sports, including soccer, tennis, football, and baseball.  I can already tell that he’s a very precocious child with a very high IQ.  The reason I suspect this is because I know that my own IQ (as evaluated by a psychologist), is 137, which means that I’m more intelligent than 99.32% of the population.

Austin, like me, is starting to put things together.  He has started asking me questions about what I know about the Schwarz side of the family, and I’ve been answering him honestly.  He asked me specifically if I knew the names of his grandparents, and I said, “Yes, I know Ron and Beth.”  He also asked me if I knew his cousin, Josiah.  I said, “Yes, I do.  But only when he was a little baby.  I also know your aunt Melisa, and your aunt Katie.  I also know your uncle Rhett.”  He seemed perplexed by this and I said, “Your mom and I used to be married.”  I then quickly changed the subject and we did something else.

I have NEVER said anything negative about Austin’s mom or anyone else in his family.  I have never probed him about them, and have done nothing but respect and honor his relationship with them.