Those were the exact words said by my cardiologist to my mom and sister in a private consulting room in St. Anthony’s Hospital in Rockford, IL in October 2008.
Category Archives: I. My Life So Far . . .
Chapter 7 – Just Let Him Go to Sleep. There’s No Hope for Him
These were the words of my cardiologist to my mom and sister in October 2008.
Saturday, October 24, 2020
Today was an OK day. I woke up earlier than I wanted to because Coco was ready to get up. It’s starting to get/be pretty cold out now, so I actually had to put a coat on in order to take him out.
I attempted to go back to sleep for a little longer, but, to no avail. I had my men’s small group meeting with Eric and others. It was a good session.
Still being pretty tired, I took a little nap. Roman came back from and informed me that the UFC fight that he had been looking forward to was happening this afternoon, earlier than he thought because it was actually in Dubai. We went to a restaurant to watch it.
We went to the gym for a little bit. We came home and I wrote a review for our product that we’re just trying to sell on Amazon (pilates and yoga rings). I made some Indian butter chicken from a jar. It turned out pretty bland, actually. I also attempted to dye my hair to cover up the gray, but, it only turned strawberry blond, which means, the stuff I used was pretty cheap.
I want to learn Microsoft 365 and Teams since LTCG is going to be switching to that soon. It is pretty expensive to take courses, so, I’m trying to find something free.
A thought occurred to me today. Sara once sent me an email telling me that she forgives me. But, I never said that to her. I know that if I did, she wouldn’t take it well. Nevertheless, it is something I might consider saying.
Protected: The Proposal
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Schreder Complaint 1
This is in regards to the matter of Sara Elizabeth Berg vs. Steven William Berg, Court File No: 27-FA-06-7827, in Hennepin County, Minnesota
I am writing to complain about attorney Ellen Schreder and her code of conduct. Ms. Schreder has been the attorney for my former wife since 2007. Her deplorable and questionable behavior towards me extends at least that far.
My latest encounter with Ms. Schreder occurred during my latest child-support hearing with her and my ex-wife on August 29, 2019 at the Hennepin County Justice Center. I was unable to attend in person and had made arrangements with the court to appear by phone.
Ellen Schreder’s treatment of me during the hearing was rude and uncalled for and I am extremely upset. I was expecting this meeting to be a simple matter of clarification and explanation of my income since I was taken off of Social Security Disability Insurance last year, after having received benefits since 2009. This also meant that my ex-wife was no longer receiving my disability benefits either.
Earlier this year, Hennepin County contacted me regarding the need to re-calculate my child support obligation since my ex-wife was no longer receiving it from Social Security. I was unable to attend the initial hearing date set for February 28, 2019. I was ordered to resume making payments of roughly $720.00/month. Since there was a period where I was unemployed and unable to make any payments, I filed another motion pro se, in order to obtain another hearing.
My work situation has been complicated due to the fact that I have been working as an IT contractor and have been forced to move quite often. However, I have consistently maintained a permanent address in Rockford, IL and have kept the child support office updated with this information along with my phone number. That office has never been unable to contact me.
During last week’s hearing, Schreder would not allow me to explain the “Ticket-to-Work” program that I was supposed to be on, which is designed to allow those who are temporarily disabled to transition back to work while not risking losing their disability. The Social Security Administration had mistakenly claimed that I (and subsequently Sara) was overpaid during the months when I was trying to get back to work. I was surprised when I found this out and am appealing this matter with the federal government. Because Ms. Schreder interrupted me and refused to listen to my explanation, I believe she was trying to implicate that I was deliberately trying to somehow defraud both the government and my ex-wife with such interrogating questions as, “Were you aware that Sara was being overpaid by Social Security because you were working when you should not have been?”
Ms. Schreder also interrogated me as if I were a criminal regarding my living situation despite my having provided the child support office with my permanent address in Rockford, IL, which is my mother’s address and where I have lived in between contract jobs. She refused to accept that as a satisfactory answer and used fear and intimidation by demanding to know where I slept the night before and where I currently was. When I hesitated because I was looking for the address of my location at the time, she pressured me and even warned me that I was “under oath,” implying that I might not tell the truth. I believe Ms. Schreder was totally out of line by insisting I provide this information and speaking to me in such a condescending manner.
Further proof of Ellen Schreder’s predatory and harassing behavior is demonstrated by the fact that she authorized an unnecessary investigation pursuing not only regarding my income sources and history, but also in pursuit of personal, irrelevant details about me, my friends, and former roommates! This investigation was instigated without my knowledge or consent and I regard it as a total invasion of privacy of not just me, but also others who are completely disconnected from this matter. This investigation went so far as to provide details about my friends and their lifestyles on social media, and their whereabouts. She had absolutely no business conducting such an investigation. I confirmed this with my child support officer, Don Patterson this morning (9/11/2019) who said that this not part of the child support practice. This investigation was completely unnecessary! My permanent address, phone number, and employment have always been easily accessible to the county and child support office. I was NEVER contacted by this investigator who went so far as tracking down a former roommate of mine in California that I no longer have any association with. This investigator also dug into the social media contact of one of my close friends and included that in the report.
I was endeavoring to approach this recent child support hearing with the best of intentions and with the good news that I had recently obtained new PERMANENT employment, and even supplied a recent paystub to prove it. I was able to then change my motion and to ask the court to re-calculate my obligation based upon my new salary. Ms. Schreder, however, failed to give me the benefit of the doubt and just assumed that I had been trying to dodge paying child support altogether. The reality is, I do want to contribute to the financial care of our son and stated as such right off the bat at the hearing. But, given my tough circumstances, and the fact that my own ongoing health is a priority (as a heart transplant recipient, it literally costs hundreds of dollars a day on average to keep my alive), I can only do the best I can. Ellen Schreder failed or refused to recognize this, despite my plea and insistence that I “don’t want to fight” and only wanted to do what was right and feasible.
As I have already mentioned, Ellen Schreder, has been terribly cruel to me ever since our divorce in May 2008. My medical team and I believe that she is partially to blame for the PTSD that I suffered as a result of the divorce, which was a primary factor leading to my heart failure and eventually needing a heart transplant in November of 2008.
Schreder used several cruel, intimidating, and outrageous tactics during the trial often resorting to hearsay evidence, included providing as an “Exhibit” private, personal pictures of me that my ex-wife had given her without my knowledge in an attempt to prove that I was unfit as a parent. The judge at the time, Jay Quam, immediately rejected this along with other similar forms of “evidence” that she provided as irrelevant. However, I was horrified and humiliated.
After the divorce was final, it was only a couple weeks that I lost my job, and then a few weeks after that, that I was rushed to the hospital and discovered that I had severe congestive heart failure and was in desperate need of a heart transplant.
After several more weeks, as my condition worsened, one of my cardiologists informed my family that I had at best, only a couple days to live. Within a matter of weeks, Ellen Schreder sent a letter to my family while I was hanging on for my life in a Chicago hospital, demanding to know what my life insurance was since Sara was supposed to be a benefactor according to the divorce decree. At the time, I didn’t even have health insurance, much less life insurance and my family was working on getting me on Medicare. The callous gall shown by Ms. Schreder in sending this letter while I was quite literally on my death bed, is a horrifying reflection of her character.
To this day, I am terrified of Ellen Schreder and have suffered from nightmares and flashbacks of her and the divorce. I cannot bring myself to open any email I receive from her or her office, and I am highly considering getting a harassment restraining order against her.
I believe that Ellen Schreder has been abusing her legal authority and deliberately creating unnecessary expenditures (such as this recent unwarranted investigation on me), primarily because I cannot afford my own attorney, to not only intimidate, ridicule and bully me, but to force me to pay for her client’s attorney’s fees, something which she has done in the past as well.
Ellen Schreder is a menace and a disgrace to her profession.
I am happy to provide any documentation in support of my claims.
I am seeking protection from Ellen Schreder who has most recently engaged in harassing, bullying, intrusive and unnecessary tactics which cause me undue fear and anxiety.
Childhood Subpage 1
Childhood subpage content
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
6:02pm – Rockford, IL
Today is my mom is 67 years old. She had practically all her friends and family from Germany call this morning.
I went to see a psychiatrist this afternoon at 1:30, Colette Carter. She went through a bunch of questions with me. (I wasn’t totally truthful about a couple of them.) We focused mostly on my depression and anxiety. She prescribed Prozac (and then, in a couple weeks, ZYPREXA, of all things! — That’s the drug that Sara used to sell!), for insomnia!
On Saturday, my dad found wine in the house and dumped almost an entire box down the drain. I tried my best to avoid him, but, my mom insisted that he put the car in the garage. Once he saw me, he came right over to me and accused me of buying it for her. He proceed to scream at me, and then tried to stare me down, and pressed his forehead hard against mine, while GLARING into my eyes. I didn’t touch him at all, but threatened to call 911. My mom was sternly warning me, “NO! DON’T DON’T!” Even after he grabbed my shirt, took my cell phone away from me, and then threw it at me. He ordered me to be out of the house within 1 week or else he would have me arrested for trespassing.
The next day, I contacted Ralph Tolen, who rents out rooms to guys in his house on the south side of Rockford, and has a regular, weekly bible study at his house. I asked him if he had one available, and he said he did. I was very happy to hear that and yesterday, I drove over there to see it. It’s really not anything special, but, there’s a bed, privacy, and no a-hole fathers.
Protected: Monday, June 2, 2014
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Protected: Monday, May 19, 2014
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Proposed Letter to My Heart Donor’s Family.
This is my proposed letter to my generous heart donor’s family. Please feel free to submit your comments. It’s a VERY sensitive issue since what was THEIR loss, was MY gain.
Thanks and God bless!
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December 6, 2013
Hello,
I am the most gracious and humble recipient of the heart from your loved one who sadly lost his or her life 5 years ago this past November in 2008.
First of all, let me express my utmost condolences for your loss, the details of which I know nothing. Secondly, I want to apologize for waiting so long to reach out to you. Rest assured, the reason is NOT because I’m not interested in getting to know the family and friends of the person who saved my life, but simply because I have had the toughest time trying to figure out what to say. What was obviously terrible and tragic news to you, was wonderful and life-saving news to me. Hopefully, you can understand, how this puts me in an awkward position.
Nevertheless, I thought I should at least let you know of my sincere intentions and that after these past five years, the heart that your loved one lost, is STILL beating very strong in me! I would be MOST grateful to know more about my hero who obviously kept good care of his or her heart so that I can more properly honor him or her whenever I speak to others about my transplant. But if, for whatever reason, you would rather remain anonymous, I can perfectly understand and respect your wishes!
As for me, I am an open book and would love to share with you anything you’d like to know about me. I know I cannot mention any personal information that might reveal my identity in this letter. However, I think it’s safe for me to tell you a few things about myself.
I am a 44 year old man (I was 39 when I suddenly contracted congestive heart failure). I have my Master’s in History and Philosophy, and I have been an IT/software professional for over 20 years. I am an Evangelical Christian and active in my church. I have a young, 7-year-old son who lives with his mother in another state. Although he doesn’t know it yet, he is another one of the primary hereos of my life, since, I couldn’t bear the thought of him growing up without a daddy.
I cannot even BEGIN to understand God’s reason for preserving my life, when I was literally on my deathbed several times throughout this entire ordeal. All I DO know is that I am extremely blessed and humbled. To that end, I want you to know that I fully intend to live out the life of your loved one’s heart and to honor his or her memory as much as I possibly can!
God bless and Merry Christmas!