Proposed Letter to My Heart Donor’s Family.

This is my proposed letter to my generous heart donor’s family. Please feel free to submit your comments. It’s a VERY sensitive issue since what was THEIR loss, was MY gain.

Thanks and God bless!

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December 6, 2013

Hello,

I am the most gracious and humble recipient of the heart from your loved one who sadly lost his or her life 5 years ago this past November in 2008.

First of all, let me express my utmost condolences for your loss, the details of which I know nothing. Secondly, I want to apologize for waiting so long to reach out to you. Rest assured, the reason is NOT because I’m not interested in getting to know the family and friends of the person who saved my life, but simply because I have had the toughest time trying to figure out what to say. What was obviously terrible and tragic news to you, was wonderful and life-saving news to me. Hopefully, you can understand, how this puts me in an awkward position.

Nevertheless, I thought I should at least let you know of my sincere intentions and that after these past five years, the heart that your loved one lost, is STILL beating very strong in me! I would be MOST grateful to know more about my hero who obviously kept good care of his or her heart so that I can more properly honor him or her whenever I speak to others about my transplant. But if, for whatever reason, you would rather remain anonymous, I can perfectly understand and respect your wishes!

As for me, I am an open book and would love to share with you anything you’d like to know about me. I know I cannot mention any personal information that might reveal my identity in this letter. However, I think it’s safe for me to tell you a few things about myself.

I am a 44 year old man (I was 39 when I suddenly contracted congestive heart failure). I have my Master’s in History and Philosophy, and I have been an IT/software professional for over 20 years. I am an Evangelical Christian and active in my church. I have a young, 7-year-old son who lives with his mother in another state. Although he doesn’t know it yet, he is another one of the primary hereos of my life, since, I couldn’t bear the thought of him growing up without a daddy.

I cannot even BEGIN to understand God’s reason for preserving my life, when I was literally on my deathbed several times throughout this entire ordeal. All I DO know is that I am extremely blessed and humbled. To that end, I want you to know that I fully intend to live out the life of your loved one’s heart and to honor his or her memory as much as I possibly can!

God bless and Merry Christmas!

Luda Balun

  • Luda Balun – It’s been difficult for me to believe that my relatively new friend, Luda, is not an angel!  I’m convinced that God put her in my life to provide a bridge from a very dark period of my life to see a new bright horizon!  She has been relentless in her devotion to helping out those around her who are in need.  I haven’t known Luda for very long, but we have somewhat of a kindred spirit and are becoming fast friends.  She and her husband came here from Ukraine many years ago and started up their own cleaning business.  We met through another mutual friend, and she has been such an inspiration to me.  Whenever I have been in need whether financially, or for transportation she has been there to help out in ways that would make most other people’s jaw drop!  She has also so unselfishly devoted her time and hard work toward helping me get my old house cleared and cleaned out; even going over there behind my back and virtually leaving me with nothing left to do!  She has also been picking me up and bringing me to church on Sundays.  Mere words simply cannot express my gratitude for all that Luda has already done for me.”Thank you, Luda for being the person that you are!  I can really sense God’s love pouring out of you and I know He has a very special place in heaven reserved just for you!  God bless you, my friend!”
  • Jean Eason – I’m not even sure Jean and I have ever even met, but it was at some time this past September that Jean appeared as suggested friend on Facebook.  I knew who she was because she is a relatively well-known former Jehovah’s Witness who has appeared on several counter-cult programs.  In any event, due to the friend request we began dialogging and the topic of the upcoming Witnesses Now for Jesus convention held every October in New Ringgold, Pennsylvania came up.  Although the timing wasn’t the best (seeing as I was in the middle of moving out of my foreclosing house!), she took it upon herself to lead an effort to provide the means for me to travel to the convention and took care of making all of the arrangements for me while I was there.  It cost several hundreds of dollars (which, I know was shared amongst several others as well who have mostly remained anonymous to me!)I gave my testimony at this same convention back in 1993 (which I have included here as a separate page on my web log). It had been seven years since I had last attended.  That was the year I brought my then girlfriend who would then become my fiance two days later.  Those seven years were probably the worst of my life.  This years’ convention proved to be especially pivotal in my spiritual journey.  God finally removed the scales from my eyes and I found myself, for the first time in such a LOOOONG time, to just let go of an ugly, foul sack of guilt, shame, anger, bitterness, and even hatred that I had been ingesting chewing upon like a cow does its cud every day.  In its place, I was able to embrace God’s grace and forgiveness and gave me the ability to forgive those who have wronged me.  I realized those intense feelings of being “wronged” were not ever going to help me achieve my final goal, which is to have as close of a relationship with my son, Austin, as possible.

    I was also able to reunite with some great old friends that I hadn’t seen in such a long time and also made some more eternal friends.

    “Thank you, Jean and those whom you were able to rally together on my behalf.  You have no idea how your generous gift to me not only blessed me, but it also revived my love and passion for the Church, the Bride of Christ, whom I had become disenchanted with for far too long!

 

Tom Illg

Tom Illg – I simply cannot say enough good things about my dear friend, Tom.  We first met in 2000 when the company I first worked for here in Minnesota was bought out by a larger consulting firm, Compuware.  As very committed conservatives who were strongly against people who believe killing unborn babies should be legal, we became fast friends.  It is to TOM’S credit that we have remained friends despite our separation from working together.  Tom has been SUCH a faithful, giving, and generous friend.He was there for me when I needed to discuss the pain I was going through because of the divorce and the totally unfair custody battle that resulted in my very young son from being deprived from having a  good relationship with his father.  He also paid for an old T-Mobile cell phone bill that I owed while I was in the hospital, and, since I’ve moved back to Minnesota, Tom has been a priceless friend in terms of helping me drive to the place where I go to see Austin, and most recently, helping me move from my old place to the new one.

“Thanks Tom!  You have been SUCH an inspiration to me.  The genuine love you have for your family that so much more exceeds you own career aspirations is so commendable!  In fact, it has been very convicting because I used to be so career-driven, myself but just refused to admit it.  You are ALWAYS there for your wife and your kids, who will NEVER EVER doubt your love for them.  Tom, whether or not you ever climb to the highest rung of the corporate ladder that you have the capability to do, I regard you as the true definition of success.  You HAVE achieved the American dream, because you have put your wife and children first above yourself.  God bless you, Tom!”

 

Kristin Benda

Kristin Benda – Kristin, who VERY successfully ran a charity benefit for me in January of 2009 here in Minnesota when I was in Illinois and since I’ve moved back here, she has still remained a good friend and has helped me out whenever she can.  “Thanks, Kristin!”

Dinah Urban

Dinah Urban – As strange as this might sound, Dinah is my real estate agent!  Not only is she the best Realtor in the world, she’s been such a good friend to me, too!  When I was still in Illinois recuperating, I found out that my tenants in my house in Burnsville had moved out.  The house was left abandoned and unattended.  I didn’t know who else to call but Dinah.  I looked her up on the internet and sent her an email.  Even though it had been ten years since I bought the house from her, she still remembered me!  We talked on the phone and I explained my situation.  I hadn’t seen the Burnsville house in two years and I asked her to go over to the house to check on it, which she did.  When I moved back to Minnesota, Dinah was often there to give me rides to places that I needed to go, even once picking me up from downtown Minneapolis during a violent thunderstorm to go back to Burnsville.Dinah worked very hard with me to explore the different options I had regarding the house, including doing a short sale.  That was the route I had prematurely decided on last year.  Dinah put so much effort into doing the short sale, but then when it became apparent that it was highly improbable that the bank, CitiMortgage would accept it, we realized it was all for naught.  I then decided to let the house go and asked Dinah to help me find another rent-to-own property.  She put some work into that too, but it didn’t take long to realize that that was going to be impractical since I still had so much on my plate to take care of, the last thing I needed was the burden of taking care of a house!

Austin Berg

Austin Berg – Austin is my very reason for living, now.  Except for fulfilling God’s will for my life, Austin is and will always be my top priority.  Even though he is only 4 years old right now, he has no idea how much joy he brings to me.  He is such a joy to be with, so happy, so easy to please, and hearing him laugh makes EVERYTHING I’ve been through worth it.  It is my number one mission in life to always be there for him.  No matter what, he will always know that his daddy, although not perfect by any means, loved him more than anything!”Thank you, Austin, my son!  You have already made me SOOOO proud!  I love you more than you will ever know, and nothing thrills me more than watching you grow up.  Please know that your Daddy wishes he could be with you every single day.”

My Latest Heroes!

I know that I have yet to write tributes to all the people who have sacrificed SOOOOO much for me prior to this year, (which I totally intend to do), I figure that I need to start somewhere.  So, I thought that I start by giving honorable mention to those who have been there for me since I’ve moved back to Minnesota.  These are all people who have demonstrated sacrificial love and concern for me without expecting anything in return.

(These are not in any specific order.)

  • Austin Berg – Austin is my very reason for living, now.  Except for fulfilling God’s will for my life, Austin is and will always be my top priority.  Even though he is only 4 years old right now, he has no idea how much joy he brings to me.  He is such a joy to be with, so happy, so easy to please, and hearing him laugh makes EVERYTHING I’ve been through worth it.  It is my number one mission in life to always be there for him.  No matter what, he will always know that his daddy, although not perfect by any means, loved him more than anything!”Thank you, Austin, my son!  You have already made me SOOOO proud!  I love you more than you will ever know, and nothing thrills me more than watching you grow up.  Please know that your Daddy wishes he could be with you every single day.”
  • Dinah Urban – As strange as this might sound, Dinah is my real estate agent!  Not only is she the best Realtor in the world, she’s been such a good friend to me, too!  When I was still in Illinois recuperating, I found out that my tenants in my house in Burnsville had moved out.  The house was left abandoned and unattended.  I didn’t know who else to call but Dinah.  I looked her up on the internet and sent her an email.  Even though it had been ten years since I bought the house from her, she still remembered me!  We talked on the phone and I explained my situation.  I hadn’t seen the Burnsville house in two years and I asked her to go over to the house to check on it, which she did.  When I moved back to Minnesota, Dinah was often there to give me rides to places that I needed to go, even once picking me up from downtown Minneapolis during a violent thunderstorm to go back to Burnsville.Dinah worked very hard with me to explore the different options I had regarding the house, including doing a short sale.  That was the route I had prematurely decided on last year.  Dinah put so much effort into doing the short sale, but then when it became apparent that it was highly improbable that the bank, CitiMortgage would accept it, we realized it was all for naught.  I then decided to let the house go and asked Dinah to help me find another rent-to-own property.  She put some work into that too, but it didn’t take long to realize that that was going to be impractical since I still had so much on my plate to take care of, the last thing I needed was the burden of taking care of a house!

    “Thank you, Dinah!  You have been waaaaay too nice to me.  I just don’t think there’s any way I could ever pay you back!  I really, really wish that I was in a much better position to show you my appreciation.  You are, hands down, the hardest-working, most knowledgeable, most dedicated real estate agent I’ve ever known, and for as long as I live, I will ALWAYS refer people to you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!”

  • Kristin Benda – Kristin, who VERY successfully ran a charity benefit for me in January of 2009 here in Minnesota when I was in Illinois and since I’ve moved back here, she has still remained a good friend and has helped me out whenever she can.  “Thanks, Kristin!”
  • Tom Illg – I simply cannot say enough good things about my dear friend, Tom.  We first met in 2000 when the company I first worked for here in Minnesota was bought out by a larger consulting firm, Compuware.  As very committed conservatives who were strongly against people who believe killing unborn babies should be legal, we became fast friends.  It is to TOM’S credit that we have remained friends despite our separation from working together.  Tom has been SUCH a faithful, giving, and generous friend.He was there for me when I needed to discuss the pain I was going through because of the divorce and the totally unfair custody battle that resulted in my very young son from being deprived from having a  good relationship with his father.  He also paid for an old T-Mobile cell phone bill that I owed while I was in the hospital, and, since I’ve moved back to Minnesota, Tom has been a priceless friend in terms of helping me drive to the place where I go to see Austin, and most recently, helping me move from my old place to the new one.

    “Thanks Tom!  You have been SUCH an inspiration to me.  The genuine love you have for your family that so much more exceeds you own career aspirations is so commendable!  In fact, it has been very convicting because I used to be so career-driven, myself but just refused to admit it.  You are ALWAYS there for your wife and your kids, who will NEVER EVER doubt your love for them.  Tom, whether or not you ever climb to the highest rung of the corporate ladder that you have the capability to do, I regard you as the true definition of success.  You HAVE achieved the American dream, because you have put your wife and children first above yourself.  God bless you, Tom!”

  • Luda Balun – It’s been difficult for me to believe that my relatively new friend, Luda, is not an angel!  I’m convinced that God put her in my life to provide a bridge from a very dark period of my life to see a new bright horizon!  She has been relentless in her devotion to helping out those around her who are in need.  I haven’t known Luda for very long, but we have somewhat of a kindred spirit and are becoming fast friends.  She and her husband came here from Ukraine many years ago and started up their own cleaning business.  We met through another mutual friend, and she has been such an inspiration to me.  Whenever I have been in need whether financially, or for transportation she has been there to help out in ways that would make most other people’s jaw drop!  She has also so unselfishly devoted her time and hard work toward helping me get my old house cleared and cleaned out; even going over there behind my back and virtually leaving me with nothing left to do!  She has also been picking me up and bringing me to church on Sundays.  Mere words simply cannot express my gratitude for all that Luda has already done for me.”Thank you, Luda for being the person that you are!  I can really sense God’s love pouring out of you and I know He has a very special place in heaven reserved just for you!  God bless you, my friend!”
  • Jean Eason – I’m not even sure Jean and I have ever even met, but it was at some time this past September that Jean appeared as suggested friend on Facebook.  I knew who she was because she is a relatively well-known former Jehovah’s Witness who has appeared on several counter-cult programs.  In any event, due to the friend request we began dialogging and the topic of the upcoming Witnesses Now for Jesus convention held every October in New Ringgold, Pennsylvania came up.  Although the timing wasn’t the best (seeing as I was in the middle of moving out of my foreclosing house!), she took it upon herself to lead an effort to provide the means for me to travel to the convention and took care of making all of the arrangements for me while I was there.  It cost several hundreds of dollars (which, I know was shared amongst several others as well who have mostly remained anonymous to me!)

    I gave my testimony at this same convention back in 1993 (which I have included here as a separate page on my web log). It had been seven years since I had last attended.  That was the year I brought my then girlfriend who would then become my fiance two days later.  Those seven years were probably the worst of my life.  This years’ convention proved to be especially pivotal in my spiritual journey.  God finally removed the scales from my eyes and I found myself, for the first time in such a LOOOONG time, to just let go of an ugly, foul sack of guilt, shame, anger, bitterness, and even hatred that I had been ingesting chewing upon like a cow does its cud every day.  In its place, I was able to embrace God’s grace and forgiveness and gave me the ability to forgive those who have wronged me.  I realized those intense feelings of being “wronged” were not ever going to help me achieve my final goal, which is to have as close of a relationship with my son, Austin, as possible.

    I was also able to reunite with some great old friends that I hadn’t seen in such a long time and also made some more eternal friends.

    “Thank you, Jean and those whom you were able to rally together on my behalf.  You have no idea how your generous gift to me not only blessed me, but it also revived my love and passion for the Church, the Bride of Christ, whom I had become disenchanted with for far too long!”

  • Bill and Laura Althaus
  • Erik and Stacy Carney