Thursday, April 1, 2021

9:00pm — I actually had a pretty decent little talk with Austin on Tuesday night. It’s still often a struggle to have any kind of meaningful conversations with him since I now know for sure he’s under a gag order, (i.e. forbidden to discuss certain things with me, like where he’s playing soccer, not allowed to send me pictures, etc.)

In any event, I was at the gym and started asking him about church because this is Holy Week. He told me their church was not having Good Friday services in person this week, only online but they ARE having regular services on Easter. I asked him if he ever invites his friends to church and he said no, he only ever goes with his family. I got the chance to mention to him that I was about his age when a friend started inviting me to church that eventually led me to become a Christian. I just told him to think about it. — I was, of course, referring to Brad Erickson, who at the age of 15ish, started taking an interest in me as a seeking, non-Christian.

I asked him what they usually do for Easter and he said they usually do Easter egg hunts and that he still gets Easter baskets. I pretty much ended the call telling him I was going to send him an Easter basket, which, I bought on Amazon today.

Monday, March 29, 2021

9:07pm — Today is my cousin Connie Preston McGee’s birthday. I don’t even remember how old she is. Well, 6 years younger than me, so, she would be 46!

I have had a pretty good weekend. We took Coco to the dog bakery yesterday. He LOVES that place! It was a beautiful day, too. We then went to church for a Palm Sunday service which included a mini-concert by a famous Christian worship singer and communion.

The choir also sang one of my favorite hymns, “When I survey the wondrous cross” – This was a song we used to sing when I was in choir at Trinity. Each verse is mightier than the previous and the very last line is so powerful, it hits you right between the eyes! I cry every time:

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.


Thursday, March 25, 2021

9:49am — I often think about how I want to be remembered when I’m gone. I was just reading a devotional by Dr. Robert Jeffress. Alfred Nobel, who actually invented dynamite, did not want to be remembered for that reason, but for more virtuous reasons, hence, the Nobel prizes.

I still have a huge part of my life to go. Despite all my regrets and mistakes, I can make sure that I continue to do the next right thing. Like Jeff Bezos, who pretends he’s 80 years old looking back on the choices he’s facing now, which ones would the older self want him to make now?

I realized last night how lazy I think I’ve become, both physically and intellectually. The amount of effort I used to put into things in order to achieve a desired result is not there lately.

I am mostly motivated by my son. He works hard at everything he does. In many ways, I see myself in him. His mother is resistant to allow me to have much influence in his life as I would like.

Lord, I just want to be in Your will. Greg Laurie says the way you can know if you’re in God’s will is if you are being obedient. There can be no hidden sin or rebellion. I condemn the sin of laziness in my life!

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

10:53pm — Today was Sydney’s 20th birthday! I can’t even believe it! — I had a pretty productive day at work today, took Coco with me to a dog friendly coffee shop, and then over to a make-shift dog-park, which local dog-owners here call “the field” which is organized by this guy named Steve Grosso who leads this WhatsApp group called “Carolyn Puppers” — Coco just had a blast.

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

7:10pm — I’ve been down here in Florida for a while now and will be heading back north again Thursday. All the rest of the country seems to have suffered from crazy winter storms. I actually kind of miss the snow, as strange as that sounds. I have been missing the excitement of hearing that a snow storm is coming.

Saturday, January 1, 2005

8:06am — The New Year rolled in last night — again we were with Kristie and Eddie and just played a board game — clue.

I’m committing to a few new things this year — primarily centered around my marriage. I definitely need to do a better job of showing love to her.

Lord, I need you to help to make it through. For one thing, I need to believe in You again. My childlike faith has vanished.

Help me, please, to submit to you. 2005 belongs to YOU, O Lord.

Monday, October 26, 2020

It was a cold, rainy day today. I didn’t have a whole lot to do for work. It was a pretty normal, sub-dued day.

I have been thinking a lot again about my book that I’m writing about my past, “My Life So Far.” I’m going through old posts and diary entries that I wrote so long ago. It’s so painful dredging some of that old stuff up. Things go so, so ugly between Sara and me.

I am ACHING for reconciliation.

Thursday, October 22, 2020

Tonight is the second and last presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. I have never before in my life been so invested and interested in a presidential election than this one. The main reason is because I just can’t stand Donald Trump anymore! Since the impeachment hearings last year, I was glued to the TV listening to how horrible he was. How he treated the new president of Ukraine was atrocious.

Schreder Complaint 1

This is in regards to the matter of Sara Elizabeth Berg vs. Steven William Berg, Court File No: 27-FA-06-7827, in Hennepin County, Minnesota

I am writing to complain about attorney Ellen Schreder and her code of conduct.  Ms. Schreder has been the attorney for my former wife since 2007.  Her deplorable and questionable behavior towards me extends at least that far.

My latest encounter with Ms. Schreder occurred during my latest child-support hearing with her and my ex-wife on August 29, 2019 at the Hennepin County Justice Center.  I was unable to attend in person and had made arrangements with the court to appear by phone.

Ellen Schreder’s treatment of me during the hearing was rude and uncalled for and I am extremely upset.  I was expecting this meeting to be a simple matter of clarification and explanation of my income since I was taken off of Social Security Disability Insurance last year, after having received benefits since 2009.  This also meant that my ex-wife was no longer receiving my disability benefits either.

Earlier this year, Hennepin County contacted me regarding the need to re-calculate my child support obligation since my ex-wife was no longer receiving it from Social Security.  I was unable to attend the initial hearing date set for February 28, 2019.  I was ordered to resume making payments of roughly $720.00/month.  Since there was a period where I was unemployed and unable to make any payments, I filed another motion pro se, in order to obtain another hearing.

My work situation has been complicated due to the fact that I have been working as an IT contractor and have been forced to move quite often.  However, I have consistently maintained a permanent address in Rockford, IL and have kept the child support office updated with this information along with my phone number.  That office has never been unable to contact me.

During last week’s hearing, Schreder would not allow me to explain the “Ticket-to-Work” program that I was supposed to be on, which is designed to allow those who are temporarily disabled to transition back to work while not risking losing their disability.  The Social Security Administration had mistakenly claimed that I (and subsequently Sara) was overpaid during the months when I was trying to get back to work.  I was surprised when I found this out and am appealing this matter with the federal government.  Because Ms. Schreder interrupted me and refused to listen to my explanation, I believe she was trying to implicate that I was deliberately trying to somehow defraud both the government and my ex-wife with such interrogating questions as, “Were you aware that Sara was being overpaid by Social Security because you were working when you should not have been?”

Ms. Schreder also interrogated me as if I were a criminal regarding my living situation despite my having provided the child support office with my permanent address in Rockford, IL, which is my mother’s address and where I have lived in between contract jobs.  She refused to accept that as a satisfactory answer and used fear and intimidation by demanding to know where I slept the night before and where I currently was.  When I hesitated because I was looking for the address of my location at the time, she pressured me and even warned me that I was “under oath,” implying that I might not tell the truth.  I believe Ms. Schreder was totally out of line by insisting I provide this information and speaking to me in such a condescending manner.

Further proof of Ellen Schreder’s predatory and harassing behavior is demonstrated by the fact that she authorized an unnecessary investigation pursuing not only regarding my income sources and history, but also in pursuit of personal, irrelevant details about me, my friends, and former roommates!  This investigation was instigated without my knowledge or consent and I regard it as a total invasion of privacy of not just me, but also others who are completely disconnected from this matter.  This investigation went so far as to provide details about my friends and their lifestyles on social media, and their whereabouts.  She had absolutely no business conducting such an investigation.  I confirmed this with my child support officer, Don Patterson this morning (9/11/2019) who said that this not part of the child support practice.  This investigation was completely unnecessary!  My permanent address, phone number, and employment have always been easily accessible to the county and child support office.  I was NEVER contacted by this investigator who went so far as tracking down a former roommate of mine in California that I no longer have any association with.  This investigator also dug into the social media contact of one of my close friends and included that in the report.

I was endeavoring to approach this recent child support hearing with the best of intentions and with the good news that I had recently obtained new PERMANENT employment, and even supplied a recent paystub to prove it.  I was able to then change my motion and to ask the court to re-calculate my obligation based upon my new salary.  Ms. Schreder, however, failed to give me the benefit of the doubt and just assumed that I had been trying to dodge paying child support altogether.  The reality is, I do want to contribute to the financial care of our son and stated as such right off the bat at the hearing.  But, given my tough circumstances, and the fact that my own ongoing health is a priority (as a heart transplant recipient, it literally costs hundreds of dollars a day on average to keep my alive), I can only do the best I can.  Ellen Schreder failed or refused to recognize this, despite my plea and insistence that I “don’t want to fight” and only wanted to do what was right and feasible.

As I have already mentioned, Ellen Schreder, has been terribly cruel to me ever since our divorce in May 2008.  My medical team and I believe that she is partially to blame for the PTSD that I suffered as a result of the divorce, which was a primary factor leading to my heart failure and eventually needing a heart transplant in November of 2008.

Schreder used several cruel, intimidating, and outrageous tactics during the trial often resorting to hearsay evidence, included providing as an “Exhibit”  private, personal pictures of me that my ex-wife had given her without my knowledge in an attempt to prove that I was unfit as a parent.  The judge at the time, Jay Quam, immediately rejected this along with other similar forms of “evidence” that she provided as irrelevant.  However, I was horrified and humiliated. 

After the divorce was final, it was only a couple weeks that I lost my job, and then a few weeks after that, that I was rushed to the hospital and discovered that I had severe congestive heart failure and was in desperate need of a heart transplant. 

After several more weeks, as my condition worsened, one of my cardiologists informed my family that I had at best, only a couple days to live.  Within a matter of weeks, Ellen Schreder sent a letter to my family while I was hanging on for my life in a Chicago hospital, demanding to know what my life insurance was since Sara was supposed to be a benefactor according to the divorce decree. At the time, I didn’t even have health insurance, much less life insurance and my family was working on getting me on Medicare.   The callous gall shown by Ms. Schreder in sending this letter while I was quite literally on my death bed, is a horrifying reflection of her character.

To this day, I am terrified of Ellen Schreder and have suffered from nightmares and flashbacks of her and the divorce.  I cannot bring myself to open any email I receive from her or her office, and I am highly considering getting a harassment restraining order against her.

I believe that Ellen Schreder has been abusing her legal authority and deliberately creating unnecessary expenditures (such as this recent unwarranted investigation on me), primarily because I cannot afford my own attorney, to not only intimidate, ridicule and bully me, but to force me to pay for her client’s attorney’s fees, something which she has done in the past as well.

Ellen Schreder is a menace and a disgrace to her profession.

I am happy to provide any documentation in support of my claims.

I am seeking protection from Ellen Schreder who has most recently engaged in harassing, bullying, intrusive and unnecessary tactics which cause me undue fear and anxiety.